Boris Reviews the Two Metre Rule. Nation Waits.

It’s 22nd June 2020, and some days have passed since Boris Johnson announced a review of the Two Metre Rule. Now there has been an announcement that there will shortly be an announcement. The Nation waits with bated breath.

Who advises Boris? Professor Lockdown Ferguson resigned as Government Advisor after the revelation that he was breaking his own lockdown rules to commit adultery. But since then his claim that an earlier lockdown would have saved 20,000 lives had massive and positive media coverage. And he did not resign from his Professorship at Imperial College. It looks like nothing has changed on the advisor front.

How long does it take to check the facts? How long does it take to google and click on the top of the “Deaths per Million Population” column to see this?

The chart tells us that San Marino and Andorra did particularly badly in the Deaths per Million stakes. But it also tells is that neither of them even has one million of population, so the figures there are not that meaningful. Looking at proper countries, we see that Belgium has top place with a disastrous 837 deaths per million. It is worth noting that this is still less than one in a thousand, and most of those were close to death anyway, but lets just stick with the hysteria, as we are all plainly meant to. Which country comes second in the Deaths per million race? We do! Thank you Boris. Thank you Professor Lockdown. Apart from Belgium, every single country in the World has done better than us.

If Boris and his poodles had more than two brain cells each, they would be aware of the great fight over the Swedes’ lockdown. Or, more accurately, their lack of a lockdown.

Round One

The media reports catastrophe in Sweden because they are not locking down. Lockdown Lovers win the round.

Round Two

Lockdown Skeptics point out that Sweden has a lower death rate than the UK. (It still comes in at only seventh place, below the UK, Spain and Italy.) Skeptics win.

Round Three

Lockdown lovers point out that Sweden must be compared to neighbouring Norway, with a massively tight and hugely effective lockdown. Norway is indeed way back in the race to kill people, in shameful fiftieth place. The fact that Social Distancing in Norway was only one metre (here) is covered up, resulting in a big win for the Lovers of Lockdown.

Round Four

Skeptics point out that if the Norwegian lockdown is so effective, with little spread, and therefore little increase in immunity, they are set up for a huge Second Wave problem when the lockdown is eased. But somehow the Skeptics can’t land a punch here. The round is a draw, leaving the Lovers in the lead.

Round Five

Norway releases its lockdown, and numbers continue their downward trend. Norwegian Prime Minister admits that the lockdown made no difference, and apologises to her nation for responding to Coronapanic. The truth that it is not lockdowns that cause the difference in national death rates is out. It’s a Knockout win for the Skeptics. But the Media don’t report Round Five. And since Boris and Co get their information from the Media, they never hear about this. Boris continues watching TV to get a clue as to what to do about Two Metres.

So, what should we be hoping for when Boris makes his pronouncement? The Government constantly claims to be “following the science.” I’ve been looking at the scientific research for weeks, especially on masks and Social Distancing. The most amazing thing about “the science” here is the sheer quantity of it. If you try to google it all, and read it all, you will at least have found a way to fill your time in lockdown. The second most amazing thing is the variability and the weakness of the conclusions. You can literally choose your research to back whatever belief you want to on these measures. Does that leave us with an impossible decision? Not at all. If the science shows no clear benefit to restrictions that trash the economy and basic freedoms, we should not be enforcing them. We never should have. And when the comparisons of results in different countries shows no positive correlation between tight lockdowns and lower casualties, we have our confirmation. Covid19 was never going to be a catastrophe. The lockdowns have now created one. And it gets bigger with every day that Boris reads the Daily Muck Media to find his answer.


Let’s just check worldometer again to see where we are right now:


We can clearly see that we are in the final stages of an epidemic. Covid has come, and it is going. That’s what epidemics do. That’s the definition of an epidemic. That is solid, undisputed science. Whatever we do or do not do, Covid will continue its downward slide.

If you are still scared, feel free to stay at home. When you go out, observe three metre distancing. Wear an N95 mask. Feel free to carry a personal lightning conductor to protect from lightning strikes. But do not insist that the rest of us involve ourselves in Boris’s Trash and Crash: the Trashing of Human Rights, and the Crashing of the Economy.